


Latch

by kuronoir



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Werewolves, Domestic Violence, Guilt, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Shame, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-16 13:43:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2271909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuronoir/pseuds/kuronoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m Stiles.” He says with a grin, like his name is some kind of accomplishment. “Stiles Stilinski.” </p><p>And Derek has to pause because, “Stilinski?”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s me.” Stiles says sounding petulant. But Dereks mind is somewhere else. With a tiny grieving boy in a hospital chapel. Derek takes a good look at him. He really grew up, his shoulders are broad and his voice is deep and smooth, no hint of adolescent awkwardness. </p><p>“Right,” Derek says recovering, “well I would appreciate if you could try keeping your fidgeting to a minimum, <em>Stiles</em>.” The name sounds strange on his tongue, new. He’s finally put a name to the face from so long ago. </p><p>“Will do Mr. Hale.” And he fucking <em>winks</em>. Derek just blinks owlishly at him for a second, before diving back into his lecture. </p><p>This kid- <em>Stiles</em>, is going to be trouble.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first of what I plan to be about 4 parts. This chapter is pretty Derek/Parrish heavy (heads up the next chapter will be as well), but Sterek is end game. That said, if that pairing isn't your thing, consider yourself warned.
> 
> Come yell at me to write faster over on [tumblr](http://www.alpharagnar.tumblr.com)

When Derek Hale is 17, his grandmother dies. She was old and lived a full life, but her final days were spent in a hospital bed trying and eventually failing to recover from a particularly bad case of pneumonia. There are no dramatic last words or shocking death bed confessions. She knew it was her time and she went peacefully. Down the hall, the Stilinski family are facing their own loss. A few hours after Dereks grandmother passes, Claudia Stilinski dies leaving her bereft husband and son behind.

Now, Derek doesn't really know the Stilinski family apart from a vague awareness that Mr. Stilinski is a deputy in the Beacon HIlls Sheriff's Department. He's never had occasion to meet their son. He doesn't even know the kids name, however, when he sees the little boy huddled in a corner of the chapel, shaking, breath ragged, head tucked between his knees, he knows that this must be him. He knows that this must be the little boy who is far too young to have just lost his mother. His heart clenches, his own loss still fresh and raw.

He comes and sits next to him. There aren't any words, Derek knows there is nothing anyone could say to him that would make the loss of his grandmother any easier, but he thinks it would be nice to not be alone. So he places a hand on the boys back, just to make him aware of Derek presence, and then just sits with him as the boys breaths calm down slowly and the sobs dissipate. He sits with him a bit longer then, until at last the boy falls asleep against his side.

Derek picks him up, he's tiny, even for his young age, and carries him back to his father who hasn't moved from his wife's side yet.

When Derek walks into the room, slumbering boy in tow, Mr. Stilinski looks up, eyes red and tear stained, and favors him with a tight smile and a nod as he stands to grab his son from Derek's arms. He mouths a silent _thank you_ and Derek nods before leaving the family to grieve.

Derek realizes belatedly, once he has found his family again and they are all getting ready to head home, that during the time he spent sitting with the Stilinski kid in that chapel, something had eased in his chest. The sting of his own grief, somehow softened by the simple act of trying to comfort this child.

* * *

Derek looks up at the imposing beige brick of Beacon Hills High School. He remembers so vividly standing in this very spot when he was a student here. Somehow the building is just as scary now as it was then. He thought that ten years and a whole slew of life experience would make the place seem smaller. That's definitely not the case. Derek is sweating even in the cool September breeze. He hitches his messenger bag higher up his shoulder and begins the trek to his new classroom. It's been so long and not much has changed about the place. The lockers, the same bright cerulean color, the smell is even the same, industrial strength bleach doing little to cover the smell of hundreds of teenage bodies.

Derek questions why he made the choice to come here. He knows why he's in Beacon Hills. Last year after his family perished in a horrible fire that consumed the home he grew up in and all of his loved ones with it, Derek had returned to settle their affairs. It was a long process, and afterwards, the idea of leaving this place was just more than he could deal with. It was like the only thing left of them was the echo of their presence in this town. Being here made him feel close to them in a way he knew he never would if he were to return to New York. So he'd quit his job and is having a new house built on the Hale property about a mile away from the ruins of the old house. Rebuilding his childhood home seemed tempting, but in the end the idea of living directly over where his family had burned to death was a bit too morose, even for him.

But Derek didn't actually need to take a job here in Beacon Hills. The insurance money, and the inheritance he was left more than assured he'd live comfortably for the rest of his life, but sitting in the apartment he was renting while the house was being finished, he felt himself going a little bit insane. So he decided to take a part time teaching position at Beacon HIlls High. It was the only thing even close to what his particular skill set would allow him to do. He'd been an art history professor at Columbia University before, and while teaching the subject to a bunch of kids who likely couldn't care less about the subject seemed like a bit of a down grade, he figured it was the best option for him, at least for the time being.

So here he stands, about to begin teaching classes about prehistoric fertility statues and early greek architecture to a bunch of disinterested 16 year olds. Derek sighed before opening the door to his room and flicking on the lights.

He knew that most teachers liked to decorate their rooms with posters relating to the subject they'd be teaching, or random motivational posters with pictures of eagles or whatever. Derek couldn't be bothered. for someone with such a deep appreciation for art, Derek had a complete disinterest in actually decorating a space with it. For some reason, hanging a glossy $15.00 poster of the Mona Lisa in his classroom rubbed him the wrong way. As a result, he's left the same few posters on the walls that the previous teacher using this room had left behind. There was one with a list of random "do's and dont's" as well as an informative poster about frogs. He thought about taking them down, but decided in the end it wasn't really worth the effort. If his students were paying attention to whatever random posters were on the wall and not what he was saying to them, then he wasn't doing his job anyway.

Derek sips his coffee from his thermos and pretends to be busy on his computer as he waits for the first bell to ring. He only has classes in the morning today and he is already eager to leave. Hes never particularly enjoyed being in from of a group of people. He's particularly wary to get in front of a group of teenagers. Teenagers are fucking scary.

His first class goes about a well as can be expected. Derek is as friendly as he ever is (which is to say not very) and quickly determines that not one student is taking this class because they actually want to be there. Derek reminds himself frequently that _nurturing young minds is an important, noble and thankless task_. It doesn't make him like these any of these kids any better.

During his second period though, he almost gives up and walks out he's so annoyed. This _kid_. As soon as he walks in the room, chatting animatedly with his friend with the floppy hair, Derek knows he's going to annoy the shit out of him. Derek sets his jaw and tries with all his might not to glare.

He begins the class by discussing the syllabus, and really that shouldn't be as difficult as it is proving to be, but he finds himself stumbling over his words because that kid won't stop fidgeting. Fingers tapping on the desk, legs jumping up and down, and the most bizarre facial twitches Derek has even seen. It's driving him insane. Finally Derek snaps.

"I need to sit still." Derek says mid sentence turning to the kid.

"Who, me?" He asks dumbly looking around as if Derek could possibly be talking to anyone else.

"Yes you, please stop fidgeting."

"Sure, whatever." The kid pauses with a sour expression on his face, then, " Are you even allowed to ask me to do that. I think you're not allowed to ask that. To tell me to stop fidgeting. What if I have a condition. I could have restless leg syndrome. You don't even know anything about me. Hey, you didn't even get our names. Where's our first day of school name game!"

"Alright, I'll bite then. What's your name."

"I'm Stiles." He says with a grin, like his name is some kind of accomplishment. "Stiles Stilinski."

And Derek has to pause because, "Stilinski?"

"Yeah, that's me." Stiles says sounding petulant. But Dereks mind is somewhere else. With a tiny grieving boy in a hospital chapel. Derek takes a good look at him. He really grew up, his shoulders are broad and his voice is deep and smooth, no hint of adolescent awkwardness.

"Right," Derek says recovering, "well I would appreciate if you could try keeping your fidgeting to a minimum, _Stiles._ " The name sounds strange on his tongue, new. He's finally put a name to the face from so long ago.

"Will do Mr. Hale." And he fucking _winks_. Derek just blinks owlishly at him for a second, before diving back into his lecture.

This kid- Stiles, is going to be trouble.

* * *

The next day is somewhat better. Derek has his older students taking the AP level class, and they seem at least somewhat invested in the subject. It at least appears that they are listening to him when he talks, no one is obviously sleeping anyway.

He can't stop thinking about yesterday though. Stiles, and how much he's grown up. He wonders idly if Stiles remembers him from that day. It's unlikely, Stiles couldn't have been more than 6 years old at the time and had barely been able to look at him through the crippling weight of his grief.

The day passes uneventfully, and Derek finds himself excited to see Stiles the next day anyway. He suddenly curious about who Stiles grew up to be. He wants to know that he is okay, that the scars from that day have healed, that he is able to function. It's selfish really. Derek just figures if Stiles was able to get past such a huge loss, maybe there's hope that Derek will someday feel like the person he used to be. He's never been too fond of too much company. Even with his huge family, he'd always managed to spend most of his time alone growing up, but now the loneliness is a heavy tangible thing. In the night, sometimes the silence and the weight of it is almost too much to bear. Derek doesn't cry anymore, but most nights he goes without sleep, chest clenching painfully, shaking all over.

The following morning, Derek will never admit to spending a little extra time making sure his hair is laying just so. He even wears his favorite cardigan that Laura had suggested he gut because the green _really brings out your eyes_. He runs his hands over it pausing for a moment, lost in memories of his favorite sister. He even debates wearing his contacts today, but decides that he's already done too much.

It's not that he's trying to _impress_ Stiles or anything. That would be weird. But he can't deny that something about knowing that Stiles will be in his class today makes him want to try a little more. To be the best version of himself he can be. If that means plastering a smile on his face and trying not to look like he rolled out of bed into whatever clothes were in arms reach then so be it. It's important for a professional to look put together he thinks.

He drinks an extra cup of coffee in his room before classes start and by the time the bell rings he's jittery and full of anxious energy. He spends his whole first period pacing and talking way too fast for anyone to pick up on anything he's saying. Once the second period rolls around and Stiles comes in with his floppy haired friend, (Scott, Derek had learned) Derek lets out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. He actually _smiles_. What the hell. He can't help it though, the feeling of comfort seeing this loud mouthed gangly kid brings to him.

"Hey, Mr. Hale!" Stiles says as he enters the room fully. He waves awkwardly, and Derek wonders if he'd been staring.

"Hello, Stiles." Derek replies lowly, before turning to the whiteboard and beginning to erase the notes he'd scribbled on the board for his first class.

Stiles is remarkably more subdued today. There is still a constant sense of vibrating energy about him, but he seems a bit more controlled, focused even.

At the end of class, when everyone is making their way to lunch, Derek notices Stiles lagging behind. Once everyone is gone, Stiles is still standing there, about three feet from his desk.

"Can I help you?" Derek asks, barely looking up as he pretends to be doing something important with the papers on his desk.

"I have ADHD" Stiles replies apropos of nothing.

"Okay." Derek drawls cocking an eyebrow and waiting for Stiles to continue.

"It's just, the other day, when you asked me to not fidget. I- well sometimes I can't help it. I forgot to take my meds that day and well…" He trails off, but Derek understands, and now he feels like shit. He knows he can be an asshole, but he never _really_ wants to hurt someone or embarrass them like that. What had he been thinking, he was way out of line. Derek stands and crosses the room to stand in front of Stiles.

"I am so sorry Stiles. I didn't mean- I don't know what I was thinking. I should never have- If you need me to-" Derek can't quite seem to get his apology together, but it seems like Stiles understands. He looks up from the floor smirk tugging on his lips.

"It's alright Mr. Hale. I guess I just thought you should know and- well that's it really. I just wanted to tell you. I don't want you to hate me, or think I'm annoying or whatever."

"You're not annoying Stiles, and I don't hate you, don't ever think like that."

A blush quickly spreads over Stiles cheeks, and Derek can't help thinking how cute he looks all red faced and shy. It's only a split second though and Derek quickly squashes the thought, embarrassed it was even there in the first place.

"Thanks Mr. Hale." Stiles says as he grabs his bag and makes for the door. He pauses, his hand on the knob though and turns to look at Derek again.

"Do you remember me?" he asks, blush still high on his cheeks. Derek heart rate sky rockets. He decides however to play ignorant for the moment, to be certain they are talking about the same thing. He cocks an eyebrow and Stiles shuffles his feet looking down at the floor clearly embarrassed. "That day," he continues, "in the hospital. You sat with me."

"I remember." Derek says valiantly trying not to give away his excitement that Stiles remembers him.

"Well, I never got to say thank you. So, thank you." Stiles looks up then, a small genuine smile playing on his lips.

Derek nods not really sure how to reply. He doesn't tell him that Stiles had done as much for him that day as well. His presence that day having soothed him in a way he still can't quite understand.

Stiles continues, taking a step closer, "I heard about.. you know."

Dereks posture stiffens, he wasn't quite ready to talk about his family. Not right now.

"I'm sure you don't really want to talk about it or anything, but-" He pauses, thinking. "If you ever want to just, not be alone… I know that helped me."

Derek doesn't really know how to reply, he just nods again, tension easing from his shoulders a bit.

"Alright, well-"

"How are you?" Derek blurts out before Stiles can leave. Stiles turns to him looking a bit confused. "I mean, how are you coping?" Derek clarifies, then in a moment of vulnerability that takes him off guard he adds, "Does it ever get easier?"

Stiles gives him a sad smile, "It never stops hurting. At least it hasn't for me. But it does get easier to deal with I think."

Derek nods again. Something about this moment, Derek feel like a kid receiving sage advice from Stiles. It's not supposed to be like this. Derek shouldn't be being comforted by a sixteen year old. He can't bring himself to care though. He is grateful for Stiles understanding. He hasn't had anyone to share his grief with. No one who really might get it. He thinks, selfishly, that Stiles could be that person for him. It's totally inappropriate and definitely a little weird, but the breath Derek can finally let out after having shared a little of himself with Stiles makes him not really care that much anymore.

Derek looks at the clock, "You better get to lunch, I'm sure Scott is wondering where you are."

"Nah, he's probably just making heart-eyes at Allison. They won't even notice I'm not there."

Derek smirks at him before saying stupidly, "Well if you want to eat in here, I promise not to make heart-eyes at you."

Stiles barks out a surprised laugh. "Mr. Hale, was that a joke? I didn't know you had it in you!"

Derek forces out a small grin. In his mind he's just yelling at himself _what are you thinking!_ Apparently whatever it is about Stiles presence that helps to ease the pain in his heart, also causes him to have verbal diarrhea. Well, he can't take it back now. Especially since Stiles seems to already be taking up his offer and moving a chair over to the other side of Dereks desk. Derek stands rooted to the same spot watching Stiles unpack his ham sandwich and cheesy poofs.

He still hasn't moved when Stiles begins shoving them in his mouth four at a time. Stiles seems to notice him staring at last, and looks up.

"Id dis woday?" He mumbles around a mouthful of food. Derek just looks at him, confused and a little grossed out. Stiles, at great length chews and swallows his food, "Is this okay?" he repeats.

"Yes. Yeah, it's fine." Derek says finally moving to grab his own lunch from his bag under the desk. "Do you even taste your food?" Derek asks as Stiles continues to happily munch away at his lunch.

"What do you mean?" Stiles asks looking genuinely confused.

Derek just shakes his head, failing to suppress a grin, "Nothing, nevermind."

The rest of the mean is spent in companionable silence. It's not awkward at all, in fact, Derek feels more at ease with each passing moment. It's nice, he thinks, the ever present loneliness that has been crushing him for so long is, for the moment, taking a back seat. There are a few brief glances, and Stiles spares him a few silent, shy smiles when his mouth isn't full. Derek worries in passing that he is not very good company, but Stiles seems not to mind, seems content to sit in peace with Derek, and Derek couldn't be more grateful that Stiles isn't pushing him to have more conversation.

Derek thinks he wouldn't mind if he did though. He thinks he could enjoy talking to Stiles.

When the period is over, Stiles grabs his things and head to the door, before he leaves he turns to Derek and asks, "Would you mind if I came back tomorrow?" He hesitates for a moment before adding, "I know I don't have your class or anything, but sitting and watching Scott and Allison moon over each other for 45 minutes is pretty much the worst."

"Of course, anytime." Derek replies pretending that his heart isn't beating out of his chest.

"Thanks Mr. Hale. Well, see you tomorrow then." He smiles before bouncing out the door into the rush of people in the hallway.

"See you tomorrow." Derek says to the empty space where Stiles had just vacated.

* * *

In the weeks that follow, Stiles does in fact come and spend his lunch period with Derek. Sometimes they talk, Stiles sharing stories about his and Scotts dreams of first line on the lacrosse team, or ranting about what an asshole that Jackson Whittemore kid is (he really is the worst Derek can confirm), or about Scott and Allisons tragic beautiful love, retching about how gross the two are when they are together, and how it's even worse when it's just Scott and Stiles and Scott can't talk about anything without is coming back to Allisons hair or her eyes or how good she smells.

Derek, oddly, can sympathize. When Stiles comes for lunch, it's the best part of his day. He adamantly refuses to investigate it too deeply, but he has to at least admit that they are friends. It's weird, he thinks, having such a camaraderie with someone over 10 years his junior, but Stiles is smart and funny and easy to talk to. Derek even enjoys hearing Stiles go on and on about some of his very 16 year old problems. But Derek also realizes that he spends way too much time when he's not around Stiles, thinking about him. He wonders how Stiles is getting on in his Chemistry class with Mr. Harris, or if his lacrosse practice went okay. He thinks about how Stiles constantly really. He often has the itch to talk to him late at night when his thoughts spiral into the morose and he craves the brightness of his smile to lift his spirits.

They very carefully avoid any talk of Dereks family though. Or Stiles mom, or that day in the hospital chapel. It doesn't need to be discussed really. They both realize that there isn't really anything to be said. Derek is grateful for that as well. Stiles is becoming more important to him than anyone in his life. To be totally honest, Stiles is really only one of a few people Derek ever talks to.

He has a few friends here in Beacon Hills. Erica, and her boyfriend Boyd, who have been close friends of his since he was in high school. They both tried to be there for him this past year as he mourned his family, but he never really shared too much of his grief with them. He usually forced a brave face around them, and failing that, avoided them altogether.

This weekend however, Erica has managed to convince Derek to come out dancing with her. He was never really one for all the loud music and sloppy drunkenness, but Erica promised the place was low key, more of a neighborhood bar with a jukebox and a small dancefloor than a club, so Derek had acquiesced after a little prodding from her.

Derek actually finds himself looking forward to the night out. It's Friday during lunch and Derek is sitting with Stiles who is telling him about his plans for the weekend.

"So what are you doing this weekend."

"Hm?" Derek snaps out of his thoughts.

"Anything exciting going on in teacher world this weekend."

"I don't always do teacher things Stiles. I'm a whole person outside of this school you know. i have a life."

"I'm sure." Stiles replies smugly.

"I do." Derek insists, "In fact, tonight a friend and I are going to a club." Derek doesn't say that it's actually just a small bar, tries to make it sound more glamorous and exciting than it really is. He has a knee jerk instinct to try and impress Stiles whenever he can.

Stiles eyes grow wide and a huge smile spreads across his face, "Wow, can I come?"

And that throws Derek off for a moment, because his first instinct is to say of course, but just a quickly, he remembers that Stiles is in fact his very under 21 student, and there is now universe in which it would be okay for him to take Stiles out drinking. Especially with Erica. Derek doesn't even think _he's_ old enough to go out drinking with Erica. The girl is wild.

"Stiles," Derek says fixing him with a look, "You're 16, in case you've forgotten."

"Yeah, yeah. I have a fake ID though."

"Stiles!" Derek exclaims, "Please don't tell me that."

"It's true, and anyways, I'm sure no one would give me a second glance if I walked in with you."

And now Derek is really thrown because- what? Derek catches Stiles clamp his mouth shut before going a bright shade of red.

"I mean- well- you have a uh- presence. And you know-"

Derek decides to save him from his fumble, "Stiles, I'm flattered that you'd like to come with me, but you're too young to be hanging out with me- outside of school I mean." he adds quickly.

Stiles looks relieved for a moment, before retorting, "So, I'll give you a call in a few years then?" and then he fucking _winks_ , and Derek doesn't even know what to do about this. Stiles is clearly _flirting_ and Derek knows he's turning bright red. What is even happening right now. This should definitely not be happening. But Stiles has recovered, and his most charming goofy grin is in place, and Derek allows himself to believe that he was just imagining things because there is no way that Stiles is flirting with him.

"We'll see." Derek replies gruffly before focusing his full attention on his sushi and thereby ending the conversation. Internally, however, his heart is still racing, and his mind is replaying the exchange over and over trying to figure out how to make it mean something else.

Stiles slumps down in his seat and finishes the rest of his meal in silence.

* * *

That evening, Derek has recovered enough to be able to get himself together to go to the bar with Erica. He tries to look decent, but he's also not really interested in impressing anyone tonight either. He does wear the jeans that Erica tells him makes his ass look phenomenal though.

He only has one goal in mind though, and that is to get wasted and not think about Stiles. He's beginning to understand what that swooping feeling he gets in his stomach every time he sees Stiles means. He's realized that the clench in his heart when Stiles looks at him _like that_ is decidedly more than just friendly affection. Derek, fuck, Derek is developing _feelings_ for Stiles, and isn't that just a punch in the course Derek would fuck this up too. Of course Derek would develop a meaningful relationship with a _child_ and not even realize that he was setting himself up for disaster. It's just that Stiles is addicting. Derek couldn't have stopped it he supposes, but he plans to spend tonight doing whatever he can to forget. At least for awhile. He'll do the hard part later. The part that will require him to force Stiles out of his life. It's the only way. Derek has never been able to do anything halfway, and he knows if he doesn't stop this now, he probably never will.

So he get's himself looking decent, and texts Erica that he's on his way to her.

_hurry up, I'm bored. It's a total sausage fest in here._

_i thought you'd like that?_

_derek, ive got a man, i just want to shake my ass_

_im glad to hear you're so loyal._

_shut up and get here_

_alright be there in 20_

_make it 15 and first rounds on me_

_i thought you were buying first round anyway_

_well make it quick and i might just make good on that promise_

Derek huffs out a laugh before checking himself over once more in the mirror. His ass does look pretty good in these jeans.

He makes his was to the Camaro Laura has left him, and drives the short distance to the small bar. He makes it there in just under 15 minutes.

"Finally!" Erica exclaims when she spots him from her place at the bar.

She 's standing next to a man, about Derek's height with light brown hair. He has his back mostly turned to him, but Erica gets his attention and when he turns around, wow. Derek is struck by how incredibly handsome this man is. His skin is tanned and lightly freckled, his eyes a beautiful shade of green, bright and open, his smile charming yet earnest. Derek blinks at him a few times dumbly unable to form words for a moment.

"Hi, I'm Jordan." He says stepping forward.

"Jordan gave me a speeding ticket once, but he's actually not evil so I decided to keep him around. Jordan, this embarrassing mute is my friend Derek I was telling you about."

"Hi, Derek, Erica's told me all about you. It's nice to finally put a face to the name."

Derek just grunts his reply, and continues to awkwardly stare. He will freely admit, he has no game whatsoever. Jordan doesn't seem to mind though, grinning good naturedly before turning to Erica and saying, "You were right, strong silent type."

"Told ya."

"Handsome too." Jordan adds with a cocky grin, and now Derek is sure his face is beet red.

"Erica, may I speak with you a moment." He says turning a glare on Erica who is barely containing her mirth at Dereks discomfort.

"Sure this Der. Be right back." She addresses to Jordan.

They step outside into the brisk night air and Derek turns on Erica as soon as the door shuts behind them.

"What do you think you're doing."

"He's cute right."

"Thats not what I asked. You should have told me this was going to be some kind of set up."

"Derek, he's hot, you're hot. You need to get laid, and I'm confident he's more than willing to lay you. Plus he's a really nice guy. Just talk to him. If nothing else, you need to have a social circle that includes people besides me."

"And Boyd."

"Oh, please. Boyd is a lot of things, but social is not one of them."

"For him being your boyfriend, you seem not to like him very much."

"I'm not with him for his conversational skills you sweet innocent thing."

"You're disgusting."

"You love me. Now are you going to get back in there, or am I going to have to force you."

Derek huffs for a moment and considers being a asshole and leaving. Erica would forgive him of course, but he did come out with a mission to forget about a certain Stiles shaped disaster in his life, and Derek can't say he's opposed to getting to know this guy a little better.

"He is really cute isn't he." Derek admits shyly.

"That's my boy, now get in there and go get 'im"

Derek shakes his head, amused, before straightening his shoulders and marching back inside.

"Hey, you're back, I was worried there for a minute." Jordan says grinning as soon as he spots Derek.

"Yeah, well, here I am." He casts around looking for Erica, only to discover she's pulled a miraculous disappearance.

"So," Jordan asks, still brimming with a confidence and social ease that Derek envies, "buy you a drink."

 _That was supposed to be Ericas job,_ Derek thinks before replying, "Sure, thanks."

They fall into easy conversation after that. Jordan works as a deputy at the Sheriff's Department. He's only been in Beacon Hills for about as long as Derek has been back. He tells Derek the story of how he met Erica. Derek in turn tells Jordan about how when they were in high school Erica introduced herself to him by cornering him and and shoving her tongue down his throat. About how they dated for about a week before he realized that he had no interest in her _lady parts_ and they quickly became the best of friends after.

They laugh and drink and eventually, Jordan manages to drag Derek to the small dancefloor. He spots Erica grinding up on some girl, blonde curls swinging dramatically. She sees him stumbling behind Jordan and gives him a thumbs up. Derek just rolls his eyes before Jordan spins them around and throws his arms around Dereks neck.

They don't really dance. Derek doesn't really dance anyway, but Jordan rhythmically sways Derek to the beat of the music. Derek places his hands politely at Jordans waist, but eventually, either due to the trance induced by the music, or the lights reflecting in Jordans eyes, or maybe it's the alcohol, Derek finds his hands moving around to more firmly pull Jordans body to his. He moves his hands over his muscular back and relishes in the closeness of their bodies.

Jordan moves his mouth close to Dereks ear and says just loud enough to be heard over the music, "I mean it before, you're really handsome."

Derek pulls back to look at him in the eye, before leaning in to press their lips together. It's chaste to begin, but quickly turns hungry and passionate. Derek slides one hand down Jordans back to grab at his ass, and Jordan presses up, impossibly closer, both hands now tangled in Derek's hair.

It's hot, both of them sweaty and the beat of the music has almost faded entirely behind the pounding of blood rushing in Dereks ears.

Derek pulls back after who knows how long, and looks again at Jordan, breathless. Jordan is still smiling.

"You wanna?" Jordan asks, somewhat shy for the first time all evening.

"Yes. Fuck, yes." Derek breathes out before grabbing Jordans face between both hands and crushing their lips together for a brief, but thorough kiss.

"Wow." Jordan says looking somewhat dazed.

"Yeah." Derek replies intelligently, feeling the same.

On their way to grab their coats, Derek grabs Erica and asks if she'll be okay if he leaves.

"Duh!" She says laughing,, "This was my whole plan dummy. Have fun."

Derek just smiles at her before rushing after Jordan.

They make it about 7 feet from the bar before Jordan pushes Derek up against a wall and crashes their mouths together again. It's cold out, but Jordans body is so warm pressed up against his. Derek slides a hand up Jordans shirt and flicks a thumb over his nipple, then leans down a bit to suck on his neck.

"How do you smell so good." Derek mumbles against his neck, hand still stroking against Jordans chest.

Jordan just chuckles, "C'mon, lets get to the car." And Derek, at great pain detaches himself from Jordans neck.

Derek's not sure how he manages to drive them to his apartment safely. Jordan is barely able to keep his hands to himself, and Derek isn't doing much better. Every time they stop at a red light Derek leans over the console to steal another kiss. They aren't even bothering with pretense at this point, both of them hungry and passionate.

By the time they get to Dereks house, they barely are a step inside before Derek is slamming the door shut and pressing Jordan back against it. They kiss sloppily as both fumble with belts and zippers. With a frustrated growl Derek drops to his knees and yanks Jordans pants down around his thighs, freeing his rock hard cock from the too tight denim. He takes a moment to look up at Jordan, his eyes are unfocused, clouded with his lust, before licking his lips and swallowing him whole. Jordans lets out a low moan as Derek works his tongue around his cock still buried in his throat. Jordan fists both hands in Dereks hair and gently as can be expected guides Derek to move.

Derek pulls off after he's had enough, licking a wet stripe from Jordans balls up to the tip of his cock. Jordans thighs are shaking with the effort of remaining standing, but Derek isn't through with him just yet.

"Turn around." He commands, voice gruff from having Jordan so deeply lodged in his throat moments before. Jordan quickly obliges and presents his gorgeous round ass to Derek. He takes a moment to stroke his hands over the cheeks, and ghost a finger over his hole, before laving at it with his tongue. The sound Jordan makes may have been intended to be words, but all that comes out is a his and a choked off sob as he pushes his ass further back blindly seeking more. Derek gives his ass a quick, firm slap before diving back in, pressing his tongue as deep as it can go inside of Jordan. He is thorough, but efficient in getting Jordan wet and loose. He slides first one, then two fingers inside him quickly finding his prostate and applying pressure. Jordan yelps, and Derek spares a moment to think of the trauma his neighbors are probably having right now. He can't bring himself to care too much, because Jordan is warm and slick, clenching desperately around Dereks fingers.

"I want you to fuck me." Jordan says breathlessly, "Will you fuck me, please Derek." he manages before Derek stands fingers still buried in Jordans ass. He latches on to Jordans neck as he continues to move his fingers around inside Jordan. Part of him wants to make Jordan beg and cry for it, but his desire to get off himself overrules that and he slowly pulls his fingers from Jordan eliciting a gasp from him at the loss. He takes a step back and appreciates the wreck he's made of Jordan. He's still pressed against the door, panting and red faced, jeans bunched around his this, and Derek saliva dripping from between his cheeks. He looks fucking beautiful. All the composure he's tried to maintain during the whole night cast out the window. I lights something hungry and feral inside Derek.

He licks his lips and commands, "Don't move." before rushing off to the bathroom to grab a condom and some lube. When he returns, Jordan has dutifully remained where he was, biting his lip, a pleading look in his eyes, silently begging Derek to get on with it. He's only too happy to oblige. He steps up behind Jordan and grabs a fist full of his ass before slapping it gently. He pops open the lube, spreads some on his fingers warming it and slides two fingers back inside of Jordan. He sighs, a sound of relief. He slides on the condom, giving his cock a few firm strokes before pulling slightly on Jordans hip, urging him to bend over a bit further, and then slides inside. The hot clench of Jordans body is almost enough to have Derek thrusting wildly, chasing his release, but he remains still, buried to the hilt inside him for just a moment, relishing the little sounds Jordan makes while he clenches around him. Derek smooths a hand up Jordans back, rucking his shit up under his armpits while pulls back slowly and slams back in. Jordan shouts, and almost loses his balance. Derek takes a more firm grip on Jordans hips, before thrusting in earnest.

Jordans body is so tight, and impossibly hot, Derek soon loses his compose and begins rutting madly against him, his release coming up on him quickly. Soon he feels Jordan clench impossibly tighter around him and he lets out a long almost pained groan as he comes. Derek follows shortly after his body spasming before he collapses against Jordans back, sweating and panting.

After a moment to catch their breath, Jordan says, "Sorry."

"For what." Derek asks perplexed.

"I uhh, came all over your door." Derek barks out a surprised laugh at that before falling to the floor with Jordan in his lap.

"I honestly don't even care. That was-"

"Amazing." Jordan finishes. And he was right. It's been awhile since Derek got laid, but to his recollection, it's never been that intense. Derek is usually pretty aggressive in bed (or against the door as it were), but Jordan made him feel almost feral in a way he's never been before. Sex is the only time Derek will allow himself to just _want_ and _take_ and Jordan gave that to him in a way he can't remember ever experiencing.

They both sit there on the floor, sweaty and sticky. Derek hasn't even bothered to take the condom off and it's beginning to feel weird around his softening cock. In a moment he realizes he's probably being a terrible host. In the next he also realizes that he doesn't want Jordan to go. That, besides the amazing sex they just had, he wants more of the comfortable conversation they were sharing at the bar earlier. He wants his presence.

"So, uh-" Derek begins dumbly

"I guess that's my cue then." Jordan says before Derek can finish, sounding a bit dejected.

"Wait," Derek says realizing that Jordan thinks he wants him to leave, "stay. I mean, you don't have to, but if you want to, we can.. I don't know, watch a movie or something." Derek can hear the desperation creeping into his voice.

"Alright."

"Alright?"

"Alright. I'd like that. Though I can't promise I'll be able to stay awake for the whole movie. You kinda wore me out."

Derek chuckles. "That's fine too." They both groan rising to their feet and Jordan awkwardly tries to pull his pants back up. Derek notices and says, "Maybe a shower is in order first huh?"

"Oh thank god. As much as I enjoy your manly stench, I do not want to sit anywhere when I'm this sticky."

"Manly stench?" Derek says wrinkling his nose.

"Trust me, its not a bad thing. You smell really good actually."

"Umm.. thanks?"

"You're welcome. Now where's the shower." Jordan says as he steps fully out of his pants and drags his shirt over his head. Derek takes a moment to lament the fact he hadn't even been patient enough to get him fully naked before because damn Jordans body is beautiful. He stands there, soft cock dangling between his legs not even remotely self conscious. Derek feels kind of dumb with his own pants still hitched down and his cock hanging out awkwardly.

Derek coughs, tries to stop gawking, and manages to scrape a "This way." out of his throat, before taking a page from Jordans book and shucking his pants the rest of the way off and throwing his shirt in a corner somewhere.

They make their way to the shower, suffice to say they have to wash twice, and then Derek offers Jordan a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt to sleep in.

"Thanks." He says, slipping them on. Derek sets up the netflix on his television in his room and they both crawl into bed. They end up not even watching a movie, getting into a heated debate about Star Wars (Jordan thinks Episodes 1-3 were _good_ , Derek has half a mind to kick him out of bed on principle)

Eventually, the conversation ebbs and Jordans eyelids begin to droop. Derek is getting sleepy too, and he flicks off the bedside lamp before huddling down deeper in the covers. He wraps his arms around Jordans already sleeping form and takes a moment to realize that he accomplished his goal. He hasn't thought about Stiles all night. Nothing about that realization however, is comforting to him.

* * *

"So, how was it." Erica says to him over the phone. Derek is not a morning person, and Erica knows this. The fact that she is calling him at 7:30 in the morning on a Saturday is almost grounds for termination of friendship. He is currently hiding in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet seat, trying his very best not to cuss out his best friend.

"I was great." he whispers, "Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Why are you whispering." she all but yells at him, "Is he still there. He is isn't he." she squeals. Derek rolls his eyes. "You're gonna keep him! Yes! I knew it!"

"Erica." Derek whispers harshly.

"No. Don't even try to deny it, he's still there?"

"Yes." Derek utters on a sigh, "He's still here. Can I go back to sleep now."

"Hell no, get dressed! We're going to breakfast. Bring your new boyfriend."

"He's not my-" Just then Jordan pokes his head into the room bleary eyes and hair a mess.

"Hey, I gotta pee." He says, "Sorry, you're on the phone. Oh is that Erica."

"Is that him? HEY JORDAN! GET IT BOY!" Erica screams over the line. Derek pulls the phone away from his ear and spares a pained look to Jordan.

"Yes, this is Erica."

Jordan chuckles and shakes his head, "I really do gotta pee though." he says grinning.

"Right, right, here." Derek says quickly getting up and leaving Jordan to it.

"So, tell me all about it." Erica continues once Derek has made it out to the living room and plopped himself on the couch. "is he a screamer?" Derek can see the face she's making right now.

"Have I reminded you lately that you are disgusting."

"Hey, just because I'm not a prude like you-"

"I'm not a prude."

"Yes you are Derek, just admit it. Live in your truth."

"Fuck you. It was amazing, yes he's a screamer, I probably have about a dozen noise complaints coming my way, and I dont even care because it was that good. Alright, you happy."

"Wow, thanks." Jordan says surprising Derek coming up behind him, "I'll try not to be so loud next time."

"Oh shit." Derek says ears burning. "I'm sorry please pretend you didn't hear that." Derek is humiliated.

"Oh please, that's the best thing someones said about me in ages. You weren't too bad yourself mister." Jordan is grinning smugly, Erica is cackling wildly over the phone and Derek wants to hurl himself out a window.

"Erica-" Derek attempts to interrupt her snorting laughter. "Erica!"

"Yes Der, what is it."

"Breakfast. When." He says irritation rising.

"I mean, you don't have to come if you wanna get some extra loving in this morning. I won't be mad."

"Erica! goddamnit."

"Yeah yeah. Meet us at the diner in-" She pauses, "Half an hour. You should be able to squeeze in a quickie before then right."

"When I see you. I am going to kill you."

"Try me"

"You're an asshole. I hate you. I'll see you in a bit." Derek goes to hang up, only to realize that Erica beat him to the punch. He shakes his head before turning to Jordan and forcing a smile.

"You up for breakfast."

"Definitely." Jordan leans down and plants a kiss on Dereks forehead. "I'll go get changed."

"You can borrow something clean if you don't want to wear the same thing from last night."

"Thanks!" Jordan shouts over his shoulder as he heads into the bedroom to get dressed.

Derek thinks to himself at that moment, _I could do this, this could work_. He's comfortable around Jordan. It's totally different from the way that Stiles comforts him. With Stiles it's like a piece of him he didn't know was missing. Jordan is just peace. Uncomplicated, and easy. Derek wants this so bad. But he can't deny, the growing feelings he has for Stiles are not just gone. He worries that they may never be gone. There is just something there that Derek can't quite quantify. Can't quite name. But it's so real, and somehow, unbeknownst to him, has managed to burrow deep to where he can feel it in his bones. Even now, in this sweet pseudo-domestic moment with Jordan, Stiles is still there, under his skin. Even his absence has a vibration, and energy, that Derek can feel.

Derek pinches the bridge of his nose, and tries to drag himself back to the present. He throws himself to his feet, and makes his way back to the room to get dressed too.

* * *

Breakfast is, as expected, humiliating. Derek regrets the choice almost immediately, when Erica winks at them both as soon as they walk in.

"I'm already so sorry." Derek whispers into Jordans ear as they walk up.

Boyd is thankfully silent in his judgement. Bless his stoic nature. But he can't help but cast a look at Derek, then meaningfully glance at Jordans neck, the evidence of Dereks handiwork practically a necklace around his throat. He smirks and then goes back to his meal. Derek's ears are burning, but he's also a bit proud, having marked Jordan up like that. He can't honestly stake any claim to him, they barely know each other, but Derek thinks, if Jordan would let him, he would like to.

Derek rests a hand on Jordans thigh under the table as Erica continues to regale them with tales of her adventures the night before after Derek and Jordan left.

"So after the bar closed, we all went back to that guy with the nose rings place, and when I tell you we drank him out of house and home, I mean it. Then that chick, the brunette one I was dancing with when you guys went home to fuck, she was there too. So I pulled her in the bathroom and we made out for like hours, but then she passed out so I left. It was fucking crazy."

Derek looks at heer and just shakes his head. He's familiar with Boyd and Ericas semi open relationship. It still weirds him out a bit, but they're happy so Derek is happy for them. Jordan on the other hand looks mortified.

"Um, Boyd. How are you okay with this."

He just grins and says, "She does what she wants, and I do too, but at the end of the day, shes coming home to me. Thats all that matters."

"Thats right baby." Erica coos, before leaning over and basically sitting in Boyds lap while they make out.

Jordan and Derek share an uncomfortable look for a moment, Jordan seeming a bit shy for a second before raising his eyebrows and leaning over and pressing a brief kiss to Dereks lips. He then leans in a bit, next to Dereks ear and says, "I don't think I want to share you with anyone."

"Good." Derek says feeling more than a little flushed.

* * *

After breakfast, Jordan heads home, mostly to change clothes as they have already made plans to make dinner at Dereks that night.

Derek runs their exchange earlier at breakfast over in his head. Jordan wants to keep him. And Derek feels the same, but the fact is that Derek is still split. He wants Jordan, but he wants Stiles too. Even knowing that anything with Stiles is impossible he still craves that feeling he gets when they are alone, just sitting together.

He's going to put a stop to it though. Nothing has really happened, but Derek can already see where this path leads, and it's nowhere good. He thinks it's stupid and cliche really, because of all the underage students he could have developed feelings for, he went for the sheriff's son. Of fucking course. As if he needed another reason why this whole thing is just a road to ruin, thats seals it. Derek makes up his mind about this as he is on the way to the grocery store to pick up a few ingredients Jordan requested for their dinner. Derek is not much of a cook. He can feed himself, but he wouldn't subject his worst enemy to his cooking. It's edible, but just barely. Jordan apparently loves to cook and has offered to prepare a meal for Derek tonight. Derek is glad to have a home cooked meal after many weekends spent scrolling through Grub Hub for dinner.

In the store, Derek blindly walks through the aisles, already knowing where most things were that he needed, This is the same market he used to come to with his mother when he was a child. As he is grabbing some fresh garlic in the produce section, Derek panics when he spots Stiles a few aisles over examining a head of lettuce. He debates going over to say hello. It's a knee jerk reaction really. His instinct these days is to be as close to Stiles as he can, as often as he can. He thinks better of it however and quickly grabs the first clove that looks decent before attempting to stealth over to the packaged meats. He fails of course focusing so much on avoiding Stiles that he neglects to ignore the giant fucking pile of tomatoes and sends them cascading to the floor. Derek is mortified, everyone in the whole section (Stiles included) is looking at him. One of the employees comes running over desperately trying to help Derek as he scrambles to try and pick fallen fruits up. He manages to squash at least two of them in the process and winds up with tomato flesh somehow in his hair too. For a brief moment Derek considers dropping everything and just making a run for it, but a familiar voice stops him.

"So this is what your life is like outside of teacher world huh?" Stiles snarks before bending down to help Derek with the mess.

"Oh god, you don't have to help me Stiles."

"You really don't" grumbles the annoyed looking grocer.

"Right." Stiles says straightening up. Derek stands too casting an apologetic glance at the poor man trying to rescue his produce.

"Sorry about-"

"Yeah, yeah, you're alright." The man says waving them off.

"So, imagine running into you here." Stiles says grinning

"Imagine." Derek grumps. He feels like the hugest idiot in the world.

"So what are you shopping for." Derek thinks for a moment that this is the moment. All he has to do is tell Stiles that his boyfriend is coming over too cook him dinner, and Stiles will take the hint and that will be that. It's convenient, but it's still a lie, and despite everything, Derek thinks he doesn't want to lie to Stiles too.

"A friend," He pauses because that feels wrong too, "is coming over to cook dinner tonight."

"Cool." Stiles says. He clearly caught Dereks hesitation, but isn't calling him on it. "So how was the clubbing last night. Did you go to Jungle or what?"

"It was nice. We didn't go to Jungle." The fact that Stiles even _knows_ what Jungle is is troubling to him, but he doesn't press. This whole conversation feels so awkward. Derek is dealing with combating urges to run far away or take a few steps closer to feel the warmth from Stiles body a little closer. In the end he remains frozen and tight lipped.

"Well, if you're not doing anything after dinner, Scott and I were planning to go to the movies? And well Scott is bringing Allison, and I know they're just gonna make out the whole time. So maybe, if you want to that is, you could come too and we can make fun of it or them or whatever." And that was bold. Stiles has all but asked him out on a double date, and Derek has to give him points for having the balls to even ask, but this seems like when he needs to draw the line.

"Stiles, as nice as that sounds, I can't be hanging out with you outside of school."

"It's cool. I mean it's not like I'm gonna tell on you or anything and Scott and Allison too. They both like you too."

"Stiles," Derek pauses frustrated, "Us hanging out, us doing _anything_ " emphasizes hoping that Stiles will get it, "It's illegal. It's wrong. I can't- we can't do this Stiles."

Stiles backs off a step (and when did they get so close) "No, no I get it." Stiles says sounding chastised, "I just-" Stiles pauses and looks Derek in the eye, he's pleading. Derek knows for sure that he's not imagining it, that Stiles was right there with him feeling just as he was, and this- it fucking hurts. He can see Stiles heart breaking bit by bit as he realizes what Derek is saying.

"Stiles-"

"No!" He says angrily, "It's fine, really whatever. I'll see you on Monday Mr. Hale." Stiles abandons his cart and all but runs out the door.

"Fuck. Fuck!" Derek kicks at the ground and paces in a circle before giving in and chasing after him. He can't leave it like this. He can't have Stiles hating him. It just feels wrong.

He catches up with him just as he's opening the door to his beat up old Jeep.

"Stiles, please wait."

"What." Stiles spits. Derek stands in front of him pacing like a caged lion. He's trying to get his words together, but they just won't come.

At last he decides on, "I can't come to the movie with you tonight. I really do have plans after dinner as well. But maybe next weekend we can- as friends Stiles. Nothing more than that. We- we can be friends, but more than that, you have to understand, I just can't. I'm not going to lie to you and act like there's nothing more going on here, but you know we can't. You have to know that Stiles."

"Okay." Stiles says

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, it's not what either of us wants obviously, but it'll have to be enough. So friends." Stiles looks around the parking lot quickly before leaning in and pressing his lips against Dereks. "I'm sorry," He says when he pulls away "I had to at least once. I promise I won't again."

Derek doesn't say anything, can't, he's totally paralyzed, his heart feels like its about to jump out of chest.

"So we can make plans on Monday then?"

"Yeah" Derek says lamely. He feels drunk.

"Okay, enjoy your dinner Derek." He says before hopping in his truck and driving off.

Derek stands there for a long time after, praying that he's not just fucked up monumentally. Part of him is so sure that he's just fucked up, but most of him is just glad that he's managed to keep at least this with Stiles. It's not everything, but it's all he can have.

It's not until later, during dinner with Jordan that Derek realizes that Stiles had called him by his first name instead of Mr. Hale. He can't quite help the smile that steals across his lips at the thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, huge apologies for the long delay with this chapter. It really just didn't want to be born, but I finally managed it. Here have an [apology graphic](http://alpharagnar.co.vu/post/98375397236/latch-im-stiles-he-says-with-a-grin-like-his). Reminder to check the tags as they have been updated.

Being friends with Stiles is surprisingly easy. Being around Stiles is good for Derek, whatever form it takes, but Derek thought that having acknowledged their mutual attraction would make it near impossible to _not_ go there with one another. As it is,they seem to both be willing to respect the boundaries they've set up. Happy to even, if it means they can spend some time together.

The movie is nice. Stiles chooses some dumb action comedy starring Channing Tatum. They travel two towns over to a different theatre where they are unlikely to run into anyone they know. It's not that anything is going on, this is clearly just friends hanging out, but they'd rather not risk anyone getting the wrong idea either way.

Stiles spends the whole movie laughing, open smile on his face, punching Derek in the shoulder when he doesn't laugh at the right parts. Derek still feels something warm curl in his belly when Stiles turns the full force of his smile on him. Even in the darkened theatre, his smile is illuminating. But Derek wants this, wants to be his friend. He wants it badly enough that he manages to ignore any trace of lust that may creep into the corners of his mind. Fights off any foolish romantic urge he may have to drape his arm over the back of Stiles seat, to lean in closer and smell that strange mix of fresh sweat and laundry detergent that seems to follow Stiles everywhere. He does this gladly, because Stiles makes it so easy. He makes it worth it. He makes Derek want to try.

When the movie is over, and they've made their way into the crisp early evening air, sun hanging low on the horizon, Stiles stops them just before they reach the car (they both rode in Dereks Camaro, leaving Stiles' Jeep parked in front of Dereks house).

"Thank you for this." He says, suddenly more serious than he's been all night.

"Of course."

"I mean it Derek. I really like spending time with you. I know we can't do… the other thing, but this is really nice. I like being your friend, even if most of our conversation is really just me talking at you."

"I like it to. I like listening to you talk."

"Good, 'cause if not, I don't see much of a future for us."

Derek laughs at that, "Well as long as you don't mind me not saying much at all."

"You say plenty Derek. You have the most expressive eyebrows I've ever seen."

Derek raises one brow at him before realizing what he's doing and laughing again. He can't remember laughing this much, this easily with anyone in a long time.

"C'mon, lets go home." He says, shoving a smug looking Stiles playfully towards the car.

* * *

When they pull up in front of the apartment building Derek is living in until the work on his house is finished, Stiles hesitates before getting out of the car.

"What is it." Derek asks, sensing that Stiles probably has about a million thoughts running through his head. He'd been silent since they got off at the exit for Beacon Hills.

"So- I mean, when are we gonna-"

"Hang out again?"

"Yeah."

"Anytime you want. We can make plans now if you want, or we can just wing it. It's up to you."

"Next Friday?" Stiles says too quickly, "I mean maybe I can come over here and bring a movie rather than driving to the other side of the planet."

"Sounds good. Next Friday it is."

"You sure. I mean, I know you have a life other people." Derek knows he means Jordan. Derek had told Stiles about him earlier in the night. It felt like a confession, but Stiles seemed glad for him, told him that he knew Jordan too, that he seemed like a really good guy.

"I know, but I want to. I mean, I enjoy hanging out with you, it's not like a sacrifice or something. I have plenty of time to spend with my other friends, and with Jordan, and with you."

"Okay then. Just tell me if I'm being annoying."

"You could never."

"Please," Stiles scoffs, "wait a month. You'll dying to get rid of me" Derek just shakes his head, smiling fondly at him. "So, it's still early, I have homework- thanks for that by the way-"

"Welcome." Dereks interjects with a huff.

"But what are you gonna do? Are you gonna call Jordan. You should call Jordan." Stiles waggles his eyebrows

"Umm, you are not subtle. You're telling me I should have sex tonight?"

"Sex, with your ridiculously good looking maybe-boyfriend who I happen to know has off tonight and is probably sitting at home right now gnawing on furniture waiting for you to call him so you guys can bang?"

Derek cocks an eyebrow inviting Stiles to continue.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"Oh shut up." Derek laughs as he gets out of the car. Stiles follows.

"Just, saying. I'm putting out so-" There's a brief slightly uncomfortable silence at that. "So I guess I'll see you in class Monday." Stiles says, suddenly looking a bit nervous again, rubbing a hand over the back of his head.

"Yeah."

"Any chance on an extension on that early Greek architecture project, it's just that me and Scott were planning a Call of Duty-thon and well-"

"Don't push it kid." Derek says around a smirk.

"Hey, worth a shot, right?" Stiles says around a smirk of his own.

"Yeah, good try."

"So, uh" Stiles kicks the gravel, "Well my only other friend type experience is with Scott, and Scott is a major hugger, like he hugs everyone for everything, and I don't know if that's like a thing we should do, or if we should shake hands, or high five, or-"

"Oh god, c'mere" Derek says stepping forward to wrap Stiles in his arms. Stiles immediately hugs him back relief flooding through him, like he'd been expecting Derek to say no. Like Derek can say no to anything Stiles wants (well most things anyway he thinks as an aside). The hug is brief but tight, and Derek can gladly say that he resists the temptation to lean in and breathe Stiles in. He does not let his hands wander, or press just that little bit closer to turn the hug from something friendly into something with intent. Because that's not what friends do.

And Derek is determined to be the best friend Stiles could ask for.

"Well, I'm gonna go then." Stiles says once they separate.

"Alright." Derek replies, then after a pause, "I'm gonna call my ridiculously good looking maybe-boyfriend and request that he stop gnawing on his furniture."

"Ha! You do that. Have fun."

"You too Stiles."

Derek watches him climb into his beat up old Jeep and drive off with a wave.

 _This is good_ Derek thinks, _this can work_.

There's a brief moment of dread, where that old ugly self dout appears, tries to tell him he;s wrong, that he can never have good things in his life. That he will just ruin it, will ruin him if he gets to close. But then he thinks of Stiles blinding smiles this evening, his wit and sarcasm, and all because he wants to spend time with Derek, just because. Derek shakes it off, feeling a wave of unfamiliar confidence, and remembers Stiles request of him. He heads up the stairs to his apartment and texts Jordan to come over if he wants.

* * *

When Jordan arrives about an hour later, the sun has already set. Derek greets him at the door with a kiss.

"What have you been up to?" Jordan asks as he steps inside and toes off his shoes.

Derek hesitates, not sure how to explain his friendship with Stiles. Even though both he and Stiles know that they aren't doing anything wrong, he doesn't expect anyone else to get that. He decides that staying close to the truth is probably best since it's unlikely that he and Stiles will be able to keep their friendship a secret forever. Franky, he likes Jordan, he wants to tell him, he deserves to know.

"You know the Stilinskis?"

"You mean my boss? Yeah I know."

Derek forgot for a moment that Jordan is a deputy under Sheriff Stilinski. Of course he is. "Well Stiles is in one of my classes now, but I knew him when he was barely more than a baby. We actually met the day his mother died."

"Oh man."

"Yeah, well, it's kinda weird but, I guess you could say we've become friends. Shared life experience and all that. Anyway, he's a great kid you know."

"Yeah he's annoying as shit sometimes, but he's a bright kid. Kind. I always see him looking out for his dad. Brings him lunch to the station on the weekends sometimes."

"Yeah, well, I took him to the movies earlier."

"Aw that's really great. You're so sweet." There's no judgement or suspicion. BUt that's always how it is with Jordan. Jordan looks at him like he's the best thing in the world, and Dderek has no idea what he did to deserve it.

Derek almost feels guilty, almost, but in the face of Jordans blinding smile, the rest seems not to matter. The mess that happened to get him and Stiles to the place they are now seems unimportant. He really is just friendly with Stiles, mutual attraction notwithstanding, he really just cares about the kid and wants to see him happy, and there's nothing to be ashamed about there.

Derek brings his attention back to the present takes in Jordan looking at him with mild amusement, small smile curling his lips.

"So, you want a drink or…" Derek trails off at the dark look that passes over Jordans face.

"Maybe later." He says grinning as he grabs Derek by the belt and drags him over to the couch.

Derek plops down on the cushion, and watches with rapt attention as Jordan slowly pulls off his shirt, and begins to shimmy out of his pants.

"A strip tease? You're too good for me." Derek says grinning. He smiling, but he means it, he really can't believe he's gotten so lucky to have found Jordan, to be able to keep him around. He really has to call Erica and thank her properly for introducing them. When Jordan is just down to his socks and briefs he leans down to straddle Dereks hips, and presses a long slow kiss to his lips.

"You're a good man Derek." He says smiling warmly down at him.

"I'm really not." Derek replies with a self deprecating sigh.

"You are, or I wouldn't be here." Jordan grinds his hips down on Dereks rapidly hardening cock. Derek groans.

"Okay, whatever you say, just, don't stop."

"I mean it Derek." Jordan says biting at Dereks ear. "You're a good man, you deserve good things." Jordan pulls back at that, looks Derek right in the eye, runs a hand through his hair. "I want to be something good for you."

Derek realizes at that moment, whatever he may have thought Jordan would be when they met; a distraction, a warm body to console him as he missed Stiles, a replacement for the person he really wanted to be with, he is in fact so much more. His feelings for Jordan may not have arisen in the best circumstances, but they are real. Jordan is important to him in a way completely separate from Stiles. At the same time, however, Derek realizes that he and Jordan are not built to last. There is an expiration date on this happiness, but it is happiness.

This is not the face of the man he's going to spend the rest of his life with, but for now, in this moment, it's good. Jordan is something good for him.

Derek surges up to kiss him again, deep and messy. They fuck right there on the couch, Jordans briefs caught around his ankle, Dereks pants bunched around his knees. It's desperate and hot, and afterwards Derek is exhausted, but so satisfied.

He doesn't know what he did to deserve this. A man like Jordan in his arms, still being able to keep his friendship with Stiles. He's happy. It's messy and if he tried to explain it to anyone else, they probably wouldn't get it, but Derek can't seem to care about that. He's going to hold on to this happiness he's found as tightly as he can, and not let go.

* * *

The days turn into weeks, turn into months, and things continue to be good for Derek. It still blows his mind every day that he wakes up and can smile about his life. Sometimes he thinks of the pressing heavy loneliness he felt when the wounds from losing his family were fresher. It seems like a distant memory now. It's closing in on two years, and while no amount of time is ever going to be enough for him to stop missing them, for that wound to close completely, for him to feel completely normal again, he feels a little less off balance. A little more able to bear the weight and not cry out in his grief.

Derek and Stiles hang out a few times here and there. Mostly Stiles will come past his place after school and sit and do homework in his living room while Derek grades papers. It's friendly and low pressure. It's just good to be in his presence. Derek has even taken on more of a mentorship role in Stiles life. He'll come to Derek with problems about school and other teachers, or his personal life. He laments his loser social status (Derek tells him he thought the same of himself in highschool, Stiles snarks back that not much has changed then.), and even tells Derek that he's actually really afraid to lose his virginity. That was an awkward conversation because Derek can't help but think that if he had made a different choice, if he'd allowed his baser instincts to control him, he might have been the one to take Stiles virginity. He thinks of it now and is so grateful that he didn't, didn't ruin the possibility of having this with him instead. Besides, Stiles deserves this too. To freak out about sex like every other teenager, and to go on that journey with someone his own age, with the same fear and trepidation he is feeling. Someone who can grow and learn right along with him.

Occasionally they'll hang out on the weekends too, and see a movie or something, but most of his weekends are spent with Jordan. Jordan who is sweet and kind and has found a place in Derek's heart he didn't know was there in the first place. Who treats him like a king, like something of value. Sometimes Derek can't take it, but he's learning to accept what Jordan gives him, and hopes he's doing right by him in return.

Derek sometimes visits Jordan at work on the weekends when he has nothing to do during the day. They've finally said the _boyfriend_ word about each other, and it feels nice to put a name to what they have, it feels natural. There is no hand wringing or anxiety about it. They're not just fucking, they're not casual, Jordan is officially in a relationship with Derek, Facebook even says so.

So when Derek shows up sometimes at the station to bring his boyfriend some lunch (and maybe sneak a makeout in the broom closet) he's usually greeted with a smile and directed to wherever Jordan has holed himself up to work. Jordan is dedicated to his job. Considering the ridiculously low crime rate in Beacon Hills, he's either doing an amazing job, or just got really lucky when he picked this town to come work. Either way, Derek is proud of him, but sometimes when he finds something that resembles a case, he forgets to come up for air. He and the sheriff work very closely together, and it's pretty much accepted that Jordan will take over the job when John retires.

John has gotten to know Derek a little better these past couple months as well. When Derek is unsuccessful in pulling Jordan away from his desk John will sometimes come and chat with him a bit. The first time had been frankly terrifying. Derek worried about what to say about Stiles. He knew he had to say something, he couldn't keep a secret from the man if he tried. He doesn't manage to say anything that time, or the time after that, too unsure of how to bring it up and remain casual. As it turns out, he didn't need to have worried at all, the sheriff brings it up all on his own.

"So, my son told me about the extra time you're spending with him."

Derek froze, unsure how to respond.

"I appreciate you making sure he's doing well. I know- even though it's been years, I still remember that day, in the hospital. I never thanked you properly then for looking out for him. And you still are apparently. I really appreciate that."

"Of course Mr. Stilinski. Stiles is a great kid, I'm glad to… keep an eye on him."

"It's John, Derek, you're a grown man now. Hey, why don't you bring Parrish over for dinner tonight? Unless you have other plans. I don't cook, but Stiles is making his famous meatloaf."

"What's that about meatloaf?" Jordan says finally pulling himself away from his work and making his way over to them. He places a brief kiss on Derek cheek in greeting, before looking at the sheriff expectantly.

"I was just thanking Derek for looking out for my son, and inviting the both of you over for dinner."

"Oh wow, we'd love to. Right Der?"

"Yeah, sounds great." Derek is only having a minor melt down. No big deal. He's never hung out with Stiles unless it was just the two of them. What if it's obvious that he's attracted to him. What if all the little things that he thinks he's been doing a really good job of hiding are only too apparent under the scrutiny of two police officers.

"Great, be there around 6 okay?" John says snapping Derek out of his spiraling panic.

"Great." Derek mumbles, "See you then."

* * *

He texts Stiles as soon as he is able to warn him about dinner.

**What, OMG, I'm so sorry. Did he ambush you?**

**No. It was fine, he just invited us over. I wanted you to know before I just show up at your house**

**No thats cool. Jordan is coming too?**

**Yeah. Thats okay right**

**Why wouldn't it be. Maybe I'll bring someone too.**

**Who Scott.**

**No, not Scott… I may have.. met someone?**

Dereks heart _does not_ stop beating for a second.

**Oh? Thats nice. Who is he.**

**His name's Matt. You may have seen him around, but he's not in any of your classes**

**Thats nice. Ill look forwards to meeting him**

**Meh, I probably won't bring him tonight, not sure I want him to meet dad just yet. If the glare doesn't scare him off the shot gun probably will**

**Fair enough. You know I'm going to find out all there is to know about him though right**

**I'd expect no less. Use your teacher powers.**

**So I'll see you tonight.**

**Yeah, get ready man, my meatloaf is amazing**

**So I've heard. I'm looking forward to it**

Derek looks up from his phone. He knows he should be happy for Stiles. Happy that he's dating someone. It is what he wanted for him, and it's hardly fair of him- Stiles has been nothing but supportive of his relationship with Jordan- but even though Derek can't be totally sure, he thinks that he knows who this Matt kid is. And while there is nothing bad about him on the surface, the one time he saw him in the hallway, there was something about the look in the kids eye that gave him chills.

He wonders idly when they started seeing each other. It can't have been very long. Surely Stiles would have told Derek sooner if they had been. Stiles tells Derek everything, too much sometimes. So this, this is a surprise, to find out after the fact. Derek is actually a little hurt, and a lot worried. Considering the secrets that he and Stiles have together, the fact that Matt has been kept a secret from even him for any period of time is troubling. He tries to tell himself that it's just old jealousy bothering him, residual feelings that he's accepted are not going to go away at this point, but he determines to look into Matt and make sure that everything is on the up and up regardless. They're friends, but Derek also feels a sense of responsibility towards him, only bolstered by the faith his father has put in him to look out for Stiles. Derek knows he will never allow anything to happen to Stiles if he can do anything to stop it.

* * *

That night, at dinner, things are going well. The food is delicious, and who knew that Stiles could even cook. Apparently this is a treat for the sheriff, as Stiles doesn't usually let him get away with eating anything that didn't grow from the ground. He's imposed a diet of rabbit food on him to keep his heart healthy. Derek understands, if he had any family left, he'd do anything in his power to keep them alive and healthy too.

During the meal, John regales them all with embarrassing stories of Stiles' childhood while Stiles puts on an air of affected indignation. He's not really embarrassed though, preens under the attention. It's clear how much love there is in the Stilinski family. Derek is sure that losing Claudia brought these two that much closer. He never really knew her, but he thinks she's be happy seeing her husband and son now, how they care for eachother, how they're become a team. A little while into the meal though, he seems to check out. He keeps checking his phone, and missing parts of the conversation.

"Stiles, tell Scott if he wants to talk he's more than welcome to come join us." John says eyeing the phone in Stiles hand. From the fierce blush that spreads across his cheeks, and his lack of response Derek figures that he hasn't been texting Scott, but rather, his new mysterious boyfriend Matt. Derek squints, unsettled even at the thought of him. He tries to let it slide but that feeling just won't go away.

After dinner, John tells everyone to relax in the livingroom while he cleans up in the kitchen. Jordan insists on joining him, and Derek tries to come as well, but Jordan shoos him off telling him to go keep Stiles company.

"I've got this babe, go hang out with your protege."

In the livingroom, Stiles is completely silent, the only sound his thumbs rapidly tapping away on his phone. Derek decides to take this opportunity to ask him about his new secret relationship.

"How's Matt?" Derek asks sneaking up behind him

"Shit, Derek you scared me."

"Not sorry. What's going on? You've been texting him all night."

"Well-" Stiles looks sheepish, "I kinda forgot that we were supposed to have dinner tonight. When you texted me you reminded me, but I'd made plans to see him tonight and well… he's a little upset."

"You told him you were cooking for your father?" Derek asks.

"Yeah I mean he gets that I think. He just said he'd planned something for us and now it's ruined."

"Wow, sounds like a great guy." Derek scoffs. He already hates this kid.

"Don't be like that. He was being thoughtful and I messed that up. It's my fault, I was just stupid and forgetful."

"Don't ever call yourself stupid. If this guy is making you feel bad about yourself, maybe you don't need to be with him." Derek and Stiles are pretty much matched in the self loathing and self deprecation departments, but for Stiles, it's usually couched in a joke. Not like this. Stiles sounds like he means it. It makes Derek even more uncomfortable, just one more thing that Derek is adding to the list of things that he doesn't like about this situation.

"What are you jealous." Stiles spits. The anger is new too. Stiles is almost always pretty easy going about most things. Certainly more so than Derek. But here he is, red faced and angry, and they've barely said two sentences. Derek is not even sure who he is talking to right now.

"I'm not- no, Stiles. I- I just worry about you is all. I want to make sure that you're happy."

"Derek-" He takes a deep breath, settling himself, "I like him, he likes me. It feels nice to want someone and for them to want you back and for it to be a simple as that. You have that, with Jordan. I want that too. I want to be able to be with someone, and I want you to be happy for me."

Derek pauses. He is absolutely sure that there is something not right about Matt. He hasn't even really met the guy, but there is something in Stiles demeanour, something in the way he talks about him. Derek knows the warning signs. His blood is boiling at the very idea of someone hurting Stiles. Derek isn't sure it's gotten there yet, maybe it never will. But either way, Derek is not letting Stiles out of his sight until he knows for sure.

"Okay." Derek sighs, "I'll be happy for you, once I've met him."

"Oh god Derek c'mon."

"I'm serious. I want to meet him. I'm not your dad, I won't bring a gun, but I can't promise I won't threaten him."

"Derek you can't be real right now."

"Oh I'm very real. When are you planning to see him next."

"Well, actually, tonight?"

"It's already tonight."

"Uhhh, I was going to sneak out later." Stiles whispers conspiratorially. Derek just fixes him with a look and a raised eyebrow.

"Don't give me that look. Like you never snuck out when you were 17."

"You're 16 Stiles, at least for the next month or so, and just because I did doesn't mean I have to condone it when you do."

"Derek, please stop pretending to be a grown up. Are you gonna give me a ride over there or not."

Derek heaves out a put upon sigh, but eventually grunts his acquiescence.

"Awesome! My virginity thanks you." Stiles grins wide and lascivious.

"Oh my god, am I driving you to a booty call. I can't believe this."

"It's not a booty call. Matt bought flowers."

* * *

"I am not happy about this." Derek grumbles.

He feels like a criminal. After taking Jordan home and then driving back to his apartment to change (Stiles requested he wear all black so they could be like spies), he headed back to the Stilinski house and spotted Stiles gracelessly climbing out his window.

"C'mon, this is fun."

"Your father would kill me if he knew about this."

"I think this is about last on the list of things my father would kill you for." Stiles says levelling him with a knowing smirk. "C'mon, where's your car."

"This is the worst idea I've ever had." Derek grumbles leading the way.

"Whatever, you're the one that wanted to be nosy, so here we are." Stiles says sliding into the passenger seat.

"You're the one hiding a secret boyfriend. What am I supposed to just not meet him. Does Scott even know about him."

Stiles shuts his mouth on whatever reply he was going to make and guiltily looks out the window.

"Stiles!" Derek accuses

"What, it's still really new, and Scott's always busy with Allison these days. We don't really see much of each other anyway."

"I'm not busy."

"Alright, I get it, enough with the lecture. I'm sorry. You're meeting him now alright. Just be cool alright."

Derek just shakes his head and follows the instructions Stiles gives him to get to where Matt lives. Apparently his parents are out of town so they will have the house to themselves. Derek said he'd just drop him off, meet the guy and head home until Stiles called him to drive him home, but Derek has no intention of leaving the vicinity of the house.

When they arrive, Stiles runs up to the front door and knocks. The guy who answers the door is definitely the same guy Derek had seen in the hall that day that gave him the creeps. He's attractive, curly brown hair handsome features, but there is something in his eyes, a glint of something not quite right. Derek would almost say it's mischievous, but he sincerely doubts it's something so innocent as that.

Derek crosses his arms and does his best to look intimidating (it's not a difficult task for him, Jordan's gotten him back in the gym lately and he's had to go up a shirt size already) glowering and making no attempt to speak or be sociable at all.

"Who's he." Matt says looking irritated, attempting a glower of his own. This is already going well.

"That's-" Stiles coughs, "That's Derek. He's a- family friend. Also a teacher. He gave me a ride here."

"What, is your Jeep broken down. You need to get rid if that thing."

"Hey, Roscoe is my baby. And no, it's not broken down. Derek is just being nosy, he wanted to meet you and well, yeah, here we are." Derek makes fun of the Jeep too sometimes, but it's never mean spirited, he knows it used to belong to his mother, he knows that hell will freeze over before Stiles parts with it. Matt apparently can't be bothered to care that the car means something to Stiles, since he so casually disregards it as a piece of junk.

"You should have told me you were bringing someone."

"It's cool, he's cool. And now he's met you- sort of- and now he's leaving right?"

Derek just stands there and continues glaring. He _really_ does not like this guy. There are alarm bells screaming at him, every muscle in his body is tensed, wanting to grab Stiles up and drag him back to the car. After a moment of awkward shuffling from Stiles and competing glares from Derek and Matt, Derek finally speaks.

"Call me when you're ready to go home." He says eyes not straying from Matt.

"Alright. Will do. Bye." Stiles shoos him off the porch and follows Matt inside.

Derek returns to sit in his car, gripping the steering wheel tight glaring at the front door. If he even had a thought of leaving, or even trying to sleep a little it's long gone. Matt is bad news. Stiles may not see it, but Derek does. This isn't jealousy speaking, he's sure now. He wants to respect Stiles choices, but this is bad. Matt is dangerous. He's definitely no good for Stiles, that much is sure.

Derek doesn't have to wait long. About 20 minutes later Stiles comes storming out of the house, mouth set in a grim line.

He plops into the passenger seat and commands, "Drive me home."

"Stiles what happened." Derek is thinking the worst, already ready to jump out of his seat and beat the hell out of this kid if he hurt Stiles.

"Please." Stiles says, "can we just go."

"Stiles." Derek says levelling him with a look.

"I-"He pauses, apparently to gather his thoughts, "He didn't like that you brought me here. He said it was weird and unromantic. I tried to explain that you're just looking out for me and I wanted you guys to meet anyway. You're important to me, and I tried telling him that it was a big deal to have him meet you, but he wasn't having it, and I got mad and left. That's all. He's being a jerk. I mean I get why, but we're kind of a package deal at this point i think, and- just whatever. He'll get over it, but as far as tonight, I will remain a virgin so there's that."

Derek, is still stuck on Stiles calling them a package deal. That's- well that's something. He hadn't realized they'd become so close, but now that he thinks about it, the idea of not including Stiles in his life seems- just wrong. He decides not to press anymore.

"Alright, lets get you home them."

"Thanks Derek."

"Sure, anytime I can prevent you from having sex with that jerk, please don't hesitate to call."

"Der, don't be an asshole."

"I know." Derek says placing a friendly hand on Stiles thigh. He's not making a move or anything, he just wants to reassure Stiles is all. "Seriously though. I hope you know that you can call me for anything, day or night alright. I promise to try not to judge, but either way, I'll be there."

Stiles favors him with a small smile and nod as they pull off.

* * *

Matt Daehler is a senior who transferred in from a school in southern California at the beginning of this school year. His record from his previous school is clean, and according to the other teachers Derek has asked, he is an excellent student. Timely, organized, intelligent. He doesn't, however, seem to have any friends. As in no friends at all, whatsoever. He never speaks to anyone in class, is never seen with anyone in the halls, nothing. That of course has changed recently when Stiles started hanging around with him.

As of late the two are hardly ever apart. After the little fiasco that night with Derek, apparently they resolved their issues and are doing well again. As well as they ever were to begin with anyway, which Derek suspects is not very. Derek is pretty sure they've never actually been doing well. He's no expert on healthy relationships, but he does know that Stiles hasn't spent any time with him at all over the past few weeks outside of the occasional dinner that the sheriff has insisted Derek and Jordan join them for (Derek would like to think John invites them because he enjoys their the company, but he's pretty sure it's in large part because that's the only time Stiles lets him have red meat). He also knows that John is beginning to worry about Stiles, has asked Derek if he's doing alright on more than a few occasions, to which Derek has only been able to lamely reply "I'm keeping an eye on him.". Right now he knows that he hates the way Matt has Stiles crowded up against the lockers in the hall, a possessive hand sliding down to grab at Stiles' ass. He hates the way that Stiles face is flush with embarrassment, the way he seems to want to squirm away, but almost seems afraid to.

"Stiles." Derek doesn't know when he walked over to them, but suddenly he's right in their space and has to think of something to say.

"Just the man I was looking for. If you have a minute," he glances at Matt, "I wanted to talk with you about your Rococo presentation."

"He's busy." Matt says dismissively not even looking at Derek as he speaks. Derek just waits, looking to Stiles hoping he'll speak up.

"Stiles?" he says again. Stiles looks at Derek then back at Matt who is wearing a stormy expression, sighs, and then says,

"I'll just be a minute Matt. Promise."

Matt just grumbles and moves out of the way so Stiles can follow Derek.

As soon as they enter the class room and shut the door Stiles is off.

"What do you think you're doing."

Derek is taken aback for a moment. This was not the reaction he was expecting. "What do you mean?"

"It looks an awful lot like you're trying to come between me and Matt. Derek, just tell me, are you jealous? Because I thought that ship had long since sailed."

"No, Stiles that's not it. I just- I don't like him for you. I don't like how he talks to you. I don't like how he touches you."

"That sounds like jealousy to me Derek."

"Stiles, you just- you haven't been yourself lately. I'm worried, your dad is worried."

Stiles sucks his teeth pacing the room, "Just, will you back off a little Derek."

"I'm not going to see you get hurt." Derek is standing his ground.

"Who said he's hurting me."

"Is he?"

Stiles stops pacing and glares at him. "Derek. Butt out okay. Just- we're fine, I'm fine. Can you leave it alone."

"You didn't answer my question."

"No! Alright, he's not hurting me! Now will you please drop it."

Derek can't let it go. He knows something is going on. "I don't believe you Stiles. Please, you know you can tell me anything. I won't tell your dad or anyone. I just want you to be safe."

"Fuck, Derek. Whatever man, just- leave us alone." Stiles storms out of the room. Matt is waiting just across the hall. He smirks at Derek before wrapping an arm around Stiles waist and leading him down the hall.

Derek gets up, closes the door slowly, sits back in his chair, and punches his desk so hard the wood cracks beneath his fist.

* * *

Derek doesn't see Stiles for a week after that. Apparently he got around to introducing Matt to his father at some point during that time. He only knows because Jordan brought it up.

"Hey did you know about the guy Stiles has been seeing?" He says one night when he's over for dinner.

Derek flinches, images of Matt and his smug face flashing through his mind, "Yeah, I knew." He grumbles.

"You don't like him either." Derek looks up at Jordans serious expression. "I don't know, I met him this afternoon, he came into the station with Stiles. Honestly, he just creeped me the fuck out. He was perfectly nice and respectful, but, there was just something. I don't know."

"I'm keeping an eye on it." Derek says. He's glad for confirmation that he's not crazy. The fact that Matt seems to be able to turn on the charm at will for certain people, but is openly hostile towards Derek speaks volumes.

"The sheriff doesn't like him either, but he's also just happy that Stiles finally brought someone home and he's gonna get to do the shotgun routine he's been practicing."

Derek meets Jordans eyes again, "Tell him to keep hold of that shotgun. I-" Derek hesitates, feels like he's betraying some trust with Stiles, but he wants to tell Jordan his suspicions, that he thinks Matt is hurting Stiles. He decides to just leave it at a warning, trusting that Jordan will get the hint, "Just tell the sheriff to watch him closely."

Jordan nods at him, clearly picking up on what Derek didn't say, before continuing his meal.

* * *

That Saturday is Stiles 17th birthday. Derek isn't sure he'll be welcome by Stiles since they apparently aren't speaking right now, but John insisted he come when he tried to make an excuse.

Now he and Jordan are pulling up to the small restaurant they'd rented out for the occasion. It's Stiles favorite place, he says they make the best curly fries on the west coast. It's a local diner, near the woods, off a dark road. The kind of place that unless you live in Beacon Hills you'd never have even heard of, you'd never see just passing through town.

Derek and Jordan walk together up to the front of the place and immediately Derek spots Matt chatting animatedly with John. He scans the room for Stiles, and finds him sitting in a booth in the corner alone, sipping on a coke, looking pissed.

Jordan sees him looking at Stiles, takes his coat and says, "Go, talk to him."

Derek nods and makes his way over to where Stiles is sulking.

"Happy Birthday?"

"What Derek."

Derek slides into the booth across from him.

"You haven't touched your curly fries."

"Not hungry."

Derek sighs, "Listen Stiles-"

"If you're gonna say you're worried about me again you can just keep it."

"I am worried Stiles, but that's not what I was going to say. I just- I want to apologize I guess. I'm not sorry for worrying about you, I'm always going to worry about you, but, I don't know, I just don't want you to be mad at me. I want you to talk to me again. So, I'm sorry."

Stiles looks up, grinning, "Okay." he says after searching Derek's eyes.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, Derek, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have blown up on you like that. I just, I don't know what came over me to be honest. I want you and Matt to get along, but it's selfish of me to demand it. I don't like not talking to you. Let's just, be over it alright."

"Good."

They spend the next little while catching up and chatting, eventually Scott and Allison come over, and Jordan too bringing John and Matt with him. Soon the whole group is crowded around the table, when Melissa, Scotts mom arrives after her shift at the hospital is over.

In all the excitement, Derek almost doesn't notice that Matt and Stiles have slipped away. He glances up and catches them just as they are walking out the back door of the restaurant. He doesn't even think about it before excusing himself and going to follow them.

The alley in the back stinks, the big green dumpster over flowing, apparently the sanitation department doesn't make it out this way too frequently. It's also dark, nearly pitch black, but Derek still spots Stiles and Matt a little ways off near the woods.

Matts stance is aggressive, that much he can see as well, he's a little too far to be able to hear though. He feels like such a creep, but he said he'd keep an eye on the situation, and so that's what he's going to do. He sticks to the shadows as he edges a bit closer, until he's within earshot. What he hears makes him sick.

"You need to stay away from him."

"Derek was just apologizing Matt. It's no big deal. Please."

"No, I see how he looks at you. He wants you, you know."

"Matt, can we please not do this right now."

Matt scoffs before continuing, "You want him too. I can tell."

"Matt!"

"No, shut up. Are you fucking him. You're fucking him aren't you?"

"Matt, no! I-"

"Don't fucking lie to me!" Matt is just shy of yelling now, keeping his voice down just enough that he won't be heard inside.

"I'm not lying to you Matt, I've never-"

Derek doesn't see the punch, but he hears it. Hears Stiles grunt in pain, the sickening sound of Matts fist connecting with Stiles stomach. It's not even a thought, Derek just moves as quickly as his legs will carry him and he's on Matt in an instant, clocking him across the jaw and knocking him to the ground. There are no words, Derek is seeing red, he's only dimly aware of Stiles screaming at him to stop. That's when he realizes that he still punching Matt, that the warm wetness on his hands is Matts blood.

Derek looks up then, coming back to himself. He sees Stiles slump against a nearby tree, eyes shimmering with tears he's yet to shed, breathing hard, and clutching his abdomen.

"Shit" he says as he falls the rest of the way down to sit in front of the tree, "Shit." He's not even looking at Derek who is still crouched over the boy. Derek can't take his eyes off him he's afraid to go over to him. Paralyzed.

"Hey! Der what's the hold up?" Jordan breaks the spell as he steps out back too, "Oh my god Derek!" He leans back inside to call the sheriff outside.

It's a blur after that. Jordan pulls Derek off of Matt looking at his bruised and swollen knuckles. The sheriff runs over to Stiles giving him a once over, looking for where he's hurt. Once he spots the big bruise below his ribs he grabs his son gently in his arms whispering apologies to him rocking him back and forth from where they are on the ground. Melissa confirms that Matt is still alive, but he'll need to go to the hospital.

Through all this, Derek doesn't take his eyes off Stiles. When Stiles eventually seems to refocus, and catch Derek's eyes, he doesn't look away either

* * *

Jordan drives him home afterwards. He tries to talk to Derek, soothe him, tell him that everything is okay and that he did the right thing, and thank god he was there to stop Matt from going further.

And Derek appreciates all that, he really does, but he can't stop playing it over in his head. He can't stop seeing Matts bloody mangled face. He can't stop seeing the expression on Stiles face. He was humiliated. He's not this person who just descends into a blind rage and nearly kills someone. The thing is, he's not even sorry. He'd do it again, he'd have gone further if Stiles hadn't stopped him. Would have killed him. He can't muster up an ounce of regret for that, but the look on Stiles face. He regrets that. He regrets that he put it there, The look of horror and confusion as he took in Derek, covered in blood, after methodically, cooly, punching that kid. Stiles looked at him like he didn't even know who Derek was.

When they get home, Jordan ushers Derek straight to bed, then comes back with a damp cloth a bottle of water and some aspirin.

"I'm proud of you Derek. I know you don't like what you did. I know you hate violence, but I can't say I'd have done anything different." He grabs Derek's face in his hands, "Derek, you saved him, you did a good thing. You are a good man. Stop telling yourself different."

Derek hears him, and he wants to believe him, but he knows it's not true. He knows that he's a piece of shit. That this is another in a long line of mistakes he's made that will eventually cost him everyone he cares about. Jordan is saying this now, but tomorrow he'll realize the man he's been sharing his life with is going to ruin him.

"I need to be alone." He says after a beat. Jordan just nods at him, face grim, He runs a hand through his hair and kisses his forehead.

"Take the pills, drink the water, try to sleep. I'm not leaving you alone. I'll be on the couch."

Derek nods pulling away to curl under the covers and try to disappear. Jordan stands there for just a moment, before sighing and leaving Derek to his thoughts.

For the first time in a long time, that heavy crushing loneliness rears its ugly head again. reminding Derek of all his flaws, all his mistakes. Reminding him that he can never really hold on to anything good. That eventually it will just slip away if he doesn't destroy it first. He hopes he hasn't ruined his relationship with Stiles, but he thinks that he probably has.

* * *

He spends all day in bed on Sunday. Jordan only leaves the apartment to grab a change of clothes and some food and comes right back, He's careful to give Derek room, he's noticeably distant. Derek thinks its for the best. Jordan is something good, he should stay far away from Derek.

He doesn't stay too far though, always hovering, clearly unsure of what to do. He wants to tell him to just leave, but he knows that Jordan wont, and part of him couldn't bring himself to ask anyway.

He also wants to call Stiles, to beg him for forgiveness, to promise that he's not the kind of person who does this. It's not like _he_ hit Stiles, but he still can't stop feeling like it's all his fault. If he'd been stronger, or just told the sheriff what was going on from the beginning.

Either way, he decides, it's too late now. By Sunday evening he's managed to drag himself out of bed and into a shower. He sits on the couch and allows Jordan to hold him as they watch a movie. He still feels like he wants to hide forever, but he's gone out and faced the day before when he's felt like this, he'll just have to do it again.

* * *

On Monday, Stiles is not in school of course. But reminders of what happened Saturday night are everywhere. He hears snippets of conversation, all about him, how he nearly killed a student, people joking about how under his cardigans and glasses he's actually a wild man, like the Hulk. The other teachers all come to him, ask if he's okay, ask after Stiles. He tells them he doesn't know and leaves it at that. He keeps his lectures brief and has his students do busy work. They all know what he did, they don't say anything though.

A week goes by, just like that and Stiles still hasn't come back. Maybe he's scared of the looks people will give him, like the looks Derek is getting now. But maybe he's scared of Derek, and that thought alone is enough to make Derek want to run howling into the forest. Because the idea of Stiles not wanting to see him, of Stiles being afraid of him, is almost too much to take.

On Friday night Jordan comes over again. He's been over every night this week. They haven't slept together, didn't even sleep in the same bed until Wednesday when Derek grumbled and opened the covers for him before he could head back out to the livingroom. Jordan had smiled and climbed in next to him, put Dereks head on his chest and stroked his hair until he fell asleep. It was the first time that he slept through the night since before that night.

Tonight though Jordan looks like he's on a mission when he walks through the door.

"You need to talk to him. You have nothing to be guilty for, but I have a feeling you won't believe it unless it comes from him."

"I-" Derek doesn't even know how to begin to answer that.

"I'm not suggesting it, we're going right now. I'm heading over there to meet the sheriff before out shift tonight. I'm taking you with me, dropping you off there and you're going to hear how Stiles has been so grateful to you. He's not mad, he's just upset that you haven't been to visit him. He needs you, you're his friend and he feels like you've abandoned him."

Derek once again can't think of a response, knows he won't be able to talk Jordan out of it, so he just sighs, and grabs his jacket, "Let's go then." he says resigned.

The whole ride there, Derek is terrified. Jordan doesn't say anything, but rests a comforting hand on his thigh most of the trip.

When they arrive at the Stilinski home, Derek is greeted at the door with a tight hug from the sheriff.

"Thank you Derek. I mean it. I know you don't think you did the right thing, but you saved my son. You kept your promise and looked out for him and- there's nothing I could possibly say to tell you how grateful I am to you, son."

Derek wilts a bit under the praise, but nods.

"He's upstairs, he's been wanting to see you, but I think he was too embarrassed to call."

Derek just nods again as he and Jordan head back towards the door.

"Derek, thank you. I mean it." John smiles at him one last time before shutting the door behind him leaving Derek alone in the hallway.

He sighs. He doesn't want to do this. He's been told that Stiles wants to see him, and even if that's true, he isn't sure that he should. Either way, he's here now, he may as well throw himself on Stiles mercy and beg forgiveness.

He procrastinates for awhile. Paces in the hall, then goes in the kitchen and sits at the table fingers tapping legs jittering, just like Stiles had on that first day. He thinks back to that moment, thinks about how far he's come, how much has changed. He was angry and depressed and lonely, and Stiles, in a very roundabout way changed all that for him. Granted, the journey there was less than ideal, but here they are, months later, and Derek is willing to kill someone for Stiles. He decides then that Stiles is important enough to him, that he can't allow himself to fall into that pit of despair he'd been in before they met. Stiles wouldn't like it. And he's do anything for Stiles.

He gets up and quickly navigates the steps to find Stiles room. It's the first time he's been in here and he only takes a second to take in the posters on the wall, the books on the shelves, the lacrosse stick in the corner, the sweatshirt that didn't quite make it into the hamper. It's so him, this is his space, Derek feels surrounded by him in a way that makes him feel like he could do anything. It's that intoxicating _something_ that gets in his system just being around Stiles. Whatever it is that makes him want to be a better person, a person Stiles can respect and admire (he doesn't think love, that's off the table now).

"Dad, I'm fine, aren't you supposed to be at work" Stiles says from under the covers.

"Hi, Stiles." Derek tries to make it sound easy, but his voice comes out as more of a croak.

Stiles doesn't even say anything, just sumps up from the bed and all but runs across the room to Derek, falling into his chest and wrapping his arms around his back. Derek immediately responds in kind pulling Stiles close and wrapping his arms around him too.

"Oh god Derek, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry."

Derek is confused. "What, Stiles, I'm the one that's sorry I-"

'Derek, no, I don't even want to hear it. You saved me. I was an asshole to you, I didn't listen to you and you still- Derek please forgive me."

And Derek doesn't even know how to react to that. This is not the conversation he was expecting. He was not expecting to have a crying Stiles clinging to him, begging forgiveness. That was supposed to be his job. But Stiles needs his comfort now, and Derek is only too happy to oblige.

"Stiles, I'm not- I could never be mad at you." He pulls back and looks Stiles in the eye, "You hear me I could never, Stiles I-" he can't finish what he was going to say. He can't believe he almost let it slip. Didn't fully realize there was something _to_ slip.

Apparently, Stiles heard it anyway if the look on his face is anything to go by. His eyes are wide, mouth hanging open slightly, cheeks flushed from embarrassment and wet with fresh tears. He's absolutely beautiful. Derek can't take his eyes off him, can't move away, can't do anything but stare at this amazing boy who stole his heart despite his best efforts to prevent it.

"Derek?" Stiles says, begging him to finish what he was saying, silently pleading with him. But Derek has never been too good with words. He rarely can capture exactly what he means when speaking. Instead his hand rises, mostly unbidden, to wipe the tears from Stiles cheek. His hand lingers there and Stiles pushed into the touch slightly before looking back up and meeting Derek's eyes again. Derek knows what is going to happen before it does, but the shock that runs through his body when their lips meet still sends him reeling. He's not even sure who initiates it, not sure it even matters. There are teeth clacking and biting at lips and its wet and messy and desperate and Derek feels like he's falling. It's heady, the blood pounding in his veins.

It only lasts a moment though before they both pull away, immediately a foot of space between them.

"Stiles I-"

"I can't believe we just-"

They look at one another a whole conversation in wide eyes and terrified glances and kiss swollen lips.

Derek blinks away the last of the spell, heart still pounding, but sense rushing back to him, hitting him like a sledgehammer to the chest.

"I should go." He says weakly. Stiles doesn't respond, just looks back at him, dumbfounded expression, like he can't quite figure out how he's feeling. Derek is the same frankly.

After another second, Stiles seems to come back to earth as well. He coughs and turns away from Derek. "Yeah, okay."

"Okay."

And Derek tiptoes down the stairs, grabs his jacket, and walks home in the freezing night air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. ;)
> 
> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://www.alpharagnar.tumblr.com)


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